Have you noticed that politeness and manners are becoming less and less frequent nowadays? Is it just me or are people becoming ruder? They may not even realize they are being rude. Perhaps they have not been taught manners by their parents or in school. I remember being taught manners in grammar school. Do they even do that today? It doesn’t appear to be so.
I can tell you which parents are, and are not teaching their children manners. I do know some kids with lovely manners, but they are becoming fewer and fewer. Most of my friends and relatives’ children are well mannered. However, not all of them are.
It is actually refreshing when someone holds a door for me or steps aside to let me pass these days. I am not thinking about women’s lib right now, and holding my own door, so no negative comments please. I am thinking more about common courtesy.
Wednesday, as I was taking a walk, I had to pass a teenage boy on a narrow path lined with shrubs. He did say excuse me, as he proceeded to walk through first, making me wait until he went past. So I guess I have to give him credit for using “excuse me.” However, since we both got there at the same time, shouldn’t he have let me, his elder go first?! I suppose that the “excuse me” was in fact really a politer version of “let me pass first please”!
Last week I was shopping at the local market. While perusing the avocados, an arm reached across mine to pick ripe fruit. Not once, but several times. Incredulous and without even turning to face this clueless person, I stated rather than asked, “Would you mind waiting until I am done, please.” She was gone like a shot, but not before I got a glimpse of her. Wow, what was that, a non-acknowledgement, acknowledgement? She didn’t even try to have a confrontation with me. Maybe my stating the obvious out loud jolted a dusty memory in her brain. Oops, I forgot my manners and I am too embarrassed to acknowledge it. Nah, she was just about being in a hurry.
The grocery store seems to attract a lot of “loose mannered” people. They either work there briefly, one can one imagine why; or they shop in the odd hours. I seem to run into a bit of both.
First there was the guy, who stared at me as I went down the aisle and stood in my way as I tried to round the corner. Then there was the older couple who stopped in the middle of the aisle and discussed each item before putting it in their cart and moving on.
A few weeks ago I had to pick up fresh veggies when I was not feeling particularly well. Usually I am tolerant and ignore young clerk’s nonchalant attitudes about their jobs. But this clerk seemed to think she was impervious to critique, and I was not in my normally good mood from my walk.
Without realizing it, I left my cart at the front of the check out as I went to pay for my purchases. The clerk was chatting away with the two people working at the next check out, as I unloaded my cart. She never said hello or even acknowledged my presence, except to start scanning my selections as she talked. As I started to run my debit card, I heard her say to the two people, “What is this ditch your cart day. That’s the second one.” Clearly, even in my sinus pain haze, I realized she was talking about me, in front of me. I wasn’t done with the purchase. I pulled the chart over to me, and put my groceries in it. I acted as if I hadn’t heard her.
As I was picking up my bags of groceries, I heard her sweetly talking to the next customer, about lazy people. Her friends in the other check out were busy helping their customer. Instead of addressing it in front of everyone, I vowed to myself to leave a voice or an e-mail message for the manager. Just in case you are curious, I sent an e-mail on the much needed training in politeness and customer service.
Today was the latest reminder of the loss of manners. While waiting at the doctor’s office for an hour and a half, I was assaulted with the high pitched laughing and screams of two little girls while they ran around and threw themselves on the floor.
One mother’s constant prattle to her daughter and a friend, who was with her, was particularly annoying. Everyone in the waiting room did not need to hear her every thought, nor did they need to suffer the antics of her children. Mrs. Ill-mannered finally seemed to get a clue when the other patient’s kept giving her dirty looks and one said something at the front desk. The ladies in the office never once interferred.
Of course there were what has now become all too common; numerous cell phone rings and phone conversations. In a waiting room, you are like a prisoner while awaiting your turn and are subject to the assault of the rudeness around you. People talking on cell phones is a technology assault almost every where you go now.
We all need to start practicing politeness and brushing up on our manners.
