To Sleep or Not to Sleep

Some times I have trouble sleeping and wake up once or twice or can't really sleep at all.  Then there are the days where I stay up much later than I should and fall asleep, only to get up in what feels like a few minutes.  What I really hate are those interruptions that force you to wake up suddenly.  You know, like the urge to go to the bathroom very badly, or an alarm that goes off at 4:00 am in the morning and you don't have to get up until 6:00 am.  Or a car that blows it's horn outside your window.  Or I should say a careless driver who blows the car horn!
  
I'm usually able to sleep fairly well.   I have been able to sleep better since I started exercising regularly.  I also do some yogic breathing to relax before bed most days.  It's been a blessing, because I used to lay awake many a night without getting much sleep.   I do everything that "they" say you should to help you sleep.  I use a wedge under my pillows to raise my head.  I close the door to keep out the light when my husband gets up before me.  I keep the room cooler over night.   I close the blinds tight and pull the shades down to keep the room dark.   That all really seems to work.   I sleep pretty soundly much of the time.

But then there are the times.   The other night I went to bed and woke up gradually from a sound sleep.  I was in the same position I was in when my head hit the pillow.  I know that because I was so tired I woke up with my hands balled up and holding the blanket rolled around them.  I fell asleep like that when I laid down.  I can always tell when I sleep like a rock and don't do any tossing and turning.  My hair actually looks almost as good as when I went to bed.  I don't mean that it looks really attractive or anything.  No!  I means it looks like it isn't out of place.  You know, like I never moved my head at all.  Normally it's sticking up here or there and in need of a good brushing. 

Another day I woke up clutching a pillow with my head resting on it, on the side of the bed.  Not in the bed, mind me; on the side of it.   How the heck can you sleep like that?!   I must have been awfully tired!

I had trouble sleeping a few days this week.  Then when I finally was getting a good night's sleep, there went that darn alarm clock that my husband forgot to change.  Yep, it went off a 4:00 am again!  It doesn't stop until you get up and turn it off.   It may as well have been a fire engine horn blasting, because I jumped right up in bed.  I went back to sleep almost with seconds.   But man, 6:00 am really comes early...

Not Another Password!

Why do we have to complicate things by requiring passwords for everything?  I would like it if someone could come up with a system for computers and other electronics that respond to the sound of your voice, touch of a finger or your breath.   I'm trying to cover all of the bases here.  That way if you loose your voice or something, there would be another way to sign in.  

My memory bank is starting to crack with the number of passwords I need to recall in a given day.   I tried to log in today into a program I use fairly often.   I kept typing in my password.  Oh it was good at one time, but not now.   I changed it for some reason or other the last time I couldn't remember it.    I got wise and saved it in a file, but you guessed it.  It was the previous password.   I need a special log book. 

Before we all became more paranoid about people getting our passwords, you could use the same password for everything.  Remember when it was just a tool to get in?  Just so the program would know it was you and not your coworker Sam.  Yeah, but then some jerk had to spoil that system by guessing it.
 
So we had to go to letters and numbers.  When that wasn't working anymore, we changed it to letters, numbers, capitol letters and symbols.  But you aren't allowed to use some symbols.   Then you had to make sure that you didn't use the same password for each program because someone might just figure it out and go into your stuff.  Then we had to change the password every 3 months.   I can' t think of that many password combinations that I can possibly recall to use.  One day I spent 15 minutes trying to figure one out.  It had to be hard to guess and be of a high security level to be accepted.  I kept getting turned down.  I started to get a complex.   So now I need a computer program to remember which computer program has what password for what.   I'm so confused!  Can't I just blow into something or touch a screen with my thumb?  I don't have the energy to type anymore and my brain aches!

A Clone a Day

Some times I wish I could clone myself so that I could honor all of  my commitments.  Why is it that there's always some place to go and something to do?  Remember my post about nothing day?  I wish I had several clones to send out and about, so I could have more nothing days.  I'd let them take turns at various tasks so they wouldn't be bored.   After all, you should treat your clones well.  Especially if you're going to give them your drudge work. 

I would require that all of my clones had a gene placed for being helpful and enjoying doing mundane work.  Then I could go about my day as I pleased without feeling any guilt, because they would enjoy what they were doing.  It would be pre-programmed into their DNA.  Since I'm just fantasizing, there would be no issues with exploitation or anything like that.  Now in the real world, you know there would be tons of issues and clones would be exploited and worse.   In a perfect world that would never happen.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could have clones and you could just hang them in a closet like your clothes.  When you needed one, you could just take it out, shake it a bit to wake it up and assign it a chore.  Then send it's on the way to do your deeds, and it wouldn't complain about anything.  None of them would have defects and destroy your relationships or anything like that.  It wouldn't be like a science fiction movie gone horribly wrong.  No, don't go there.   In my fantasy clone world they would be more like Stepford wives, expect more controllable and you get to be in charge.

I'd send the most cheerful and industrious clone to work.  My most task oriented clone to clean the house from top to bottom.  My strongest clone to do the yard work, especially in Spring and Fall for cleanup.  Last but not least, I would send  the most industrious clone to deal with the most annoying and most obnoxious tasks.  You figure those out!   Ah, to dream...

Quote of the Week

I have shown you
the methods that 
lead to liberation,
but you should 
know that liberation 
depends upon yourself.


Buddha

My Quotes

    



         Miracles are all around us if we open our hearts and accept them.

   

       

         Namaste

Is It Time for Spring Cleanup?

Why do they call it Spring cleanup?  Shouldn't we have a special 'clean up" all year long?  Why not Autumn or Winter cleanup?  I think Winter would be a better time to clean anyway.  After all, aren't we stuck in the house a lot more when it's cold?  When you clean vigorously, you get pretty warm, at least I do.  When it's really cold out, instead of turning the heat up, we should get up and scrub a floor or the bathroom.  It gets clean and you're not as uncomfortable for awhile.  The problem is, as soon as you relax, you're cold again!

I think I remember that the term Spring cleanup started way back in the old days when people had dirt or rough wood floors.  Those floors would have been in need of a good sweep or scrub.  They would also open up the windows to air the place out.  The house probably was full of stale and bad smells from all sorts of things. 

Did you ever forget to put on deodorant or wear the same clothes for six months at a time?   Eeeew!  They must have gotten pretty ripe.  Most of us don't take a bath or a shower and then wear the same clothes day after day, every single day.  Well, since you probably don't, just try to imagine it.   I know now you're getting it!   Yuk.   A lot of people only had 2 outfits.  They had everyday clothes and Sunday clothes.  I bet the Sunday clothes weren't too fresh either.  Basically they had to wash in a stream or a big wooden tub in a little water heated in the fireplace, and they SHARED the bath water.  I'd have been taking a bath with my clothes on and I would insist on going first!

It would have been too cold to keep the doors and windows open anyway, so they must have just waited to do it when it had gotten warmer.  Thus, Spring cleanup.  So the term was born.  Am I close?  I'm not doing a history lesson here!  I'm sort of trying to remember what I've read.   Hey, I'm getting old.  Give me a break. 

Now it doesn't mean that they were slobs and didn't clean at all just because they did their major cleaning then.  It was just the best time for them to scrub everything down.  They didn't have heat and had to use the fireplace to keep the place warm.  They had to chop the wood themselves or buy it.  I don't think that there was too much chopping going on in the dead of winter.  Or too much money coming in.   If you have to chop a tree down yourself, you really don't want to waste the wood or the effort by opening doors and windows in the cold.   I'd be so cold, I 'd be sleeping right next to the fireplace or burning everything I could find, even the furniture. 

Where is Spring?

The never ending winter returned today to revisit us for a few more days.   I sure as heck hope that it is only a few days. It would be nice if Spring would last more than two minutes.   I'd start cleaning the garden, but I'm afraid I might get frostbite. 

I trimmed the roses the other day to help give them a nice start. There was nary a bud on most of the canes. This is the latest my roses have started to bud. It's sort of like one of those nightmares or the movie "Ground Hog Day", where you have to relive that day over and over until you get it right.   Whatever it is.   The ''Never Ending Winter From Hell".   It's cold and snowy, then suddenly it's a little warm and dun,dun da...!  Like a bad dream you can't shake off.  Just when you though it was safe to play outside again Winter RETURNS.

I'm just waiting for things to reverse and the warm days to come back and stick around.   Please!  All I want is to go outside and not freeze my you know what off. That's not too much to ask is it?   Geez, winter is bad enough, it snows so darn much here.  Mental note; in my next life, I am moving to Arizona.   I'm thinking close to a desert, so I won't have to worry about snow.   It doesn't snow in the Arizona desert does it?   Hey, I don't know, I'm just asking...

You'll probably read here in the future about how hot it is in July or August.   I'm just warning all of you.   I may do it.   So  then you can all say, well what DO you like, for Pete's sake?  I can't help it, I'm a mediocre weather lover.   The 60's and 70's are just fine with me.   I can handle the 80's okay, until it gets over 85.  Then I need to be in the air conditioning a lot more.  I usually blame my allergies.

Actually I'm fibbing.  I can handle the hot and cold fairly well.  I'm just really tired of dead looking trees, drab brownish grass and gray skies.   I am SO ready for Spring.   Is Mother Nature taking a leave of absence or what?

Sometimers?

Did you ever have one of those days when you just couldn't seem to remember anything, like where you left something or a thought you had a second ago?  I have them all of the time.  

My entire life I've walked into a room and then couldn't remember why I went there in the first place.  Okay, not my entire life, because I can't remember that far back!  I don't do that as much as I used to, but I still do it at least once a day.  Maybe more, I forget.   I usually remember later why I went in the room in the first place.   Most of the time it's just after I walk back where I came from!  Then I have to go back again.  At least I'm getting a lot of exercise that way.  

It drives me crazy when I'm outside working in the garden and forget something I meant to bring with me.  Then I have to go back in, get it and come out again.   But first I have to take my (usually) dirty shoes off, then put them on again.  Why I picked a house with a white tile kitchen floor...  Then I forget to take my shoes off, until I get 10 feet into the room and there's a trail of mud behind me.   So then I have to clean the floor.  You can guess where this is leading.  Yes, that's right.  I forget what I came in for in the first place.  I've done that one time too many. 

My focus is better because of meditation, I'm still working on the memory thing.   Between menopause, work, family and whatever else you can throw in, I'm surprised I can remember my own name sometimes.   I can concentrate on one thing at a time more at home than anywhere else.  The rest of the time, it's interruptions, interruptions and more interruptions. 

Isn't it funny that someone who can recall people's phone numbers from 10 years ago and minuet details in a room, can't remember where she left her cell phone.  I've left it at work, in my car on the passenger seat, in the bathroom; don't ask me why I brought it in there in the first place.  I've left it on a shelf in the kitchen.  I put it away with the dishes.   I'm not even going to talk about my car key!  I've put cold food in the pantry and boxes of crackers in the fridge.   I've started to take a shower one too many times, only to realize I'm still wearing my glasses.  I've even gone to bed with them on.  That's more like being distracted...I hope! 

My husband likes to say that I have 'sometimers'.   Because sometimes I forget things.   Oh ha, ha.  A lot of the time I'm as sharp as a tack and then there are the other days.  I guess we all have them, I'd just like not to have so many.  I took a shower just before writing this post.  Now where is my my watch?  

Snack Attacks

I was recently talking with a friend about staying healthy.   She is more concerned with her health than loosing weight.   Me too right now.   I told her that one of the most important things to do was to not bring junk food into her home.   I repeat, DO NOT bring junk food into your home people!

If you do, you are setting yourself up for a binge or munchies attack.  I would know.  I just went and got a chocolate chip cookie out of the cookie jar, not 10 minutes ago!  Darn it!  I was doing great all day.  I managed to get through most of the day without going near it.  Then all of a sudden, BLAM!   I wanted a cookie.   So I took one.  At least I ate it slowly and savored it.   In hind sight, it wasn't more than a couple of bites.   Haven't I talked about giving yourself a little bit of the thing you really want?   So, actually that wasn't too bad.  Now I have to go and hide the cookie jar!

I'm not about to beat myself up, since I've been pretty good all day.   But you get the point.   If it wasn't for my husband, I would be able to open a cabinet without being assaulted with junk food stashed here and there.  He even has cookies and chips hidden under the kitchen sink with the SOS pads, dish washing liquid and garbage bags.  Like I wouldn't see them...  Ha!  

I was an expert at ferreting out elicit foods.   In the past if I was having a craving, I would pull everything out of the cabinets looking for the stuff he was hiding for himself.   Until I found something...   Them I would take some of what I found and gobble it up.  Even if I didn't really like it.   Is that disgusting or what?   I was good at hiding a special snack treat in my closet, dresser; anywhere my husband wouldn't find them.   So I  could keep them all to myself.  

My husband still hides some of his stuff so I won't eat his; or now yell at him for eating it!   If it wasn't for him, there would near be any junk food in this house. Not because I perfect, but because I'm not!   If he got a box of candy as a gift, he'd open it take a piece and put in the refrigerator, then forget it.   Forget it!   Like he never cared about it in the first place.   I once ran across a box of Fanny Mae candy that he got for his birthday a YEAR later.   How I even missed it in the first place is a mystery...   But a year later?   He hid it so well, he forgot about it.   So guess of course who found it and who ate it?   I was baaaad!

Quote of the Week

                

      Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. 
      Victor Hugo                                    
         
               Welcome Spring!  We've been waiting eagerly your return.

A Day Without Anything

There's nothing quite like a day without anything relatively important to do. Don't you just love that word relatively?  It says so much and yet so little.  A day without commitments, no appointments, no place in particular to go.  Just time to play, read or sit and reflect.   

Instead we go scurrying about our day doing this, that and everything.  Even the everyday, common and mundane things become overly important, when we make them.  Taking kids to this or that, fighting crowds at the mall and running errands here, there and everywhere.  It never ends, does it?

I've been trying to live more in the moment.  To experience this moment now.   To not make little things too big or too complicated. You know, not making inconsequential things; well consequential!  I'm also trying not to jam pack my day with things I have to do when I'm home.  It's helping to balance out being so busy at work.  I've gotten much better at leaving work problems at work. When I get home I go into 'I'm home mode'.  

So every once in awhile I just try not to do anything in particular at all.  Today I sat and did a couple of crossword puzzles in the morning and then watched a movie.  I put the dishes away and I took a walk after lunch.   Boy did that feel good.  I didn't feel as if I had to clean up, do laundry or anything because I did it yesterday.  Today was just about being lazy.  But it isn't really lazy is it? 

I like to think of it more as an emotional health day.  You know, just doing what happens at that time and concentrating only on it.  I don't have to think too hard or get upset about something that is really silly in an after thought kind of way anyway.  Then I move on to the next thing.  But in a no rush, no hurry, whenever kind of way.  It's not that I don't think about what I am doing, I do.  I am totally in the moment of what I am doing and then move on, or not. When I water the house plants, I don't just water them.  I look them over, caress their leaves to see if they are healthy and YES, I do talk to them sometimes.  Sort of.  It's more of a discussion with myself thing.  "You look a little dry today."  Or, "Why are those leaves turning yellow".   I 'm really just saying it to myself.   For me it's soothing, calming and peaceful.  

I find that with these kinds of days, I feel more content and at peace much of the time.  Except at work, because... well because it's work!  Which in turn helps me to feel that way more of the time the rest of the day or the week.  I wish I had discovered this giving myself permission in not having to do anything particular time much sooner.  I'd be very zen like.  But that's okay.   I have it now and I'm keeping it!

So Long and Goodbye

Today was the kind of March day that you want to wrap your arms around and hug it in.  This was the first day in months I could take a walk and didn't need a ski jacket or had to walk backwards because of a cold wind!  The air was fairly still and it was warm enough to take your time enjoying the coming Spring. 

When I came back there was a party going on, with loud music and people standing around outside laughing and talking.  You see today was the private funeral of my neighbor, who died suddenly a week ago.   My husband said that he always used to say that he wanted a party for his closet friends when he died.  I'm pretty sure he didn't expect to die quite so soon, however.  He was only in his mid forties and hadn't been sick for a couple of years.  His kids honored his wishes and threw him a rocking party for a dozen of his closet friends.  They were outsied in the backyard for hours.  It was kind of like the day was so nice just to help give him a good send off.   It makes you want to smile. 

He lived with his mother, who had died from a long fight with cancer less than two months before.  After she died, I think he felt really lonely.  As much as they argued and fought; and it was a lot because you could often hear them yelling at each other, they were close.  She wasn't hard of hearing either, so the yelling wasn't about that.  We all knew when they had a fight.  So they yelled and then sat and talked outside on the patio.  They fought until the last year of her life, then he tried not to upset her.  They had a great relationship.

He hadn't worked in several years because his personal demons caught up with him.  She was very supportive, but called him on his behavior.  She told me once that she would drive him everywhere when he had his license taken away.  She was proud of him for getting and staying clean, but she would "kick him to the curb" if he slipped.  She felt comfortable telling me a few things, because I didn't tell other neighbors any one's business.  Hey in my work it's mandatory to keep your mouth shut.  But as long as I knew him, I never saw any sign of bad behavior and he was always clean and sober as far as I could see.  

In return his mother was not a neighbor who got into your business, at all.  I really liked that about her.  She never asked me anything personal, an admirable quality.  I am a fairly private person, so I don't ask people personal questions in return.  If they share with me, that's okay, but I won't ask.  I may even tell them they are giving me too much information.  That can mean lots of things; from I don't care, to I don't want to know.   I come from the "Zip it" school of thought.  Keep your personal business and negative comments to yourself.   People don't need to know unless they are part of your most inner circle.   She and I chatted once in awhile, but mostly just passed pleasantries.

We they got their dog, I fell in love with it.  He is a fur ball of love and sweetness.  I would make excuses to go over and pet the dog.  I asked for permission to give him treats.  That dog helped to better bring us together for several years.  We talked more because of the dog.  Funny how animals bridge gaps between people together.  I'm going to miss him too.

 
I just realized that we've seen quite a few neighbors move or pass on in the last few years.  Some were a good thing and others will be missed, but always remembered.

No Phone Calls

Twice today I received a call from a store I had visited in December, where I had placed an order.   I had been looking for a large basket.  I wanted to put pillows in it when we go to bed.  I have as assortment of decorative pillows that I place at the head of the bed.  I place them over the quilt hiding the pillows we sleep with.  It adds a nice finishing touch.  I thought that the basket could also hold other things I'd like to keep out of sight when guests come. 

I also found a pretty pillow I liked and I wanted to use for the living room couch.  It was big and sturdy and would support my back while sitting on the couch.  I had to have both items special ordered, because they weren't in stock.  They were both supposed to be in about a week after Christmas.   I forgot all about it when I got a call that the pillow was in.  I waited another week or so before going to the store,  because they said the basket would be in then too.  I paid for the pillow and asked what had happened to the basket.  The person I spoke to checked and was surprised it was still on order.   After all it was now February. 

Where was this basket coming from?  Ethiopia or some exotic place deep in the jungle?  Were they growing the fiber to weave it or something?  I've seen the same basket in magazines and catalogs.  It's very large, but it's not made of anything special or exotic.  It's made of bamboo fiber that is not from an endangered species.   I could have grown my own bamboo and woven my own basket by now!  

This morning I got a call that the basket has been in for a couple of weeks and why hadn't I picked it up yet.   Why hadn't I picked it up yet?  What?  Huh?  I actually gave up on that basket a month ago.  I told the person on the phone that I didn't know that it was is in, but I no longer wanted it.  It had taken too long to come.  Instead I just switched my laundry basket with another large container and I used that instead.   It worked almost as well, it just wasn't as big.  I asked if they would cancel it and refund my deposit.  Who waits more than 3 months for a basket?  They had said it would be in in a week. 

She said they called and left a message.  I assured her I never got one or I would have come in.   I think her over insistence that they had called, helped me to decide to cancel it.   I carry my phone with me even when I take a walk.   You never know when a family member may need you in an emergency.  It rings... I answer it, or the messages go to voice mail.   It's that simple. 

She was the same person, who had an attitude the day I placed the order.  I realized that after I hung up with her.  I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of tension there that day.   They were having computer problems; boy do I know that story; and she had to stop what she was doing to fix it.  She wasn't happy about it as I recall.  I remember thinking that I should just leave and tell them I changed my mind, because the energy in the room was charged with anger and resentment.  Not exactly a pleasant shopping atmosphere.  

I've been simplifying anyway, why did I want to buy it?  Well I guess because it suited a need to keep from cluttering up my room.   So I waited and waited for them to fix the problem and couldn't wait to leave.   Always pay attention to those kinds of feelings.  They are trying to tell you something.

So imagine my surprise, later today day while I was on my walk, the salesperson called to get my credit card number for the refund.  But not until after she gave me a bit of a lecture about how she had called several times, then said numerous times.  I am really not a complete idiot.  I promise.  I do know how to answer my cell phone and check the voice mail.  I've had my cell phone for more than 6 years.  Yeah, time to get an upgrade too I'm thinking to that Blackberry I haven't set up yet.  Now that I can't  quite figure out! 

I told her I hadn't gotten any calls since I picked up the pillow last month.  She got rude to me and I said, " Well I did answer it twice today".   She said she called me on this phone and my other number.  My other number?   My other number!  The number that wasn't in service when my Internet connection went down?  Wait a minute!  What was that...?!  Well then I knew that I wasn't totally crazy.  I apologized to her and told her that the other phone was disconnected.  I added that I had given her my cell phone number as my primary contact number when I made the purchase.   She started to argue and I calmly explained that the other phone hasn't been working and then I disconnected it.

I tried to keep the conversation light and ended the call.  She was looking for a fight and I didn't want to become negative.  Nor did I want to add to her anger.  I wanted to diffuse it.  I wasn't going to try to set her in her place.  What was the point?  She would only become angrier.  Obviously from both interactions, she was clearly having a bad day or was in a bad mood.  The old me would have argued with her but not the new me.  She was lucky that I am less defensive.  Her behavior was not acceptable.  The old me would have called the manager. 

You see since the phone connection was cut off, so was my voice mail.  You know from reading this blog that I had to go to the library for close to 2 weeks to work on the Internet.  My new connection took over another week to be set up.  I have been on this connection for a week.  That's a month.  What I didn't write about was that I had tried to call my voice mail several times in that first week my Internet connection was down.  When I dialed the number, it was dead.   Then they disconnected it from their service and I had the phone disconnected.  So how was she able to leave a message on a disconnected and non-existent voice mail?  Hmmm? 

Now you get the picture.  Hopefully she will be more respectful to the next person to whom she thinks she left messages.   

My Quotes

   

           Find pleasure in the simplest things, life is made of simple things.

Spring Has Finally Kicked In!

Spring officially arrived today and it couldn't possibly be more welcome!  Winter seemed like it lasted for three years.  We made it into the 60's.  It's a veritable heat wave!  Now that's my kind of weather, not too hot and not too cold.  I wore my ski jacket on my walk to the store today.  Never take a chance that the weather could turn in a heartbeat at this time of year I always say.  I ended up getting too warm on the walk back.  But who cares?  It's Spring!  I didn't mind a bit because the sun was shinning all day and the birds where singing.  I almost danced home.  I didn't dance though, because they were too many people out enjoying the weather.  I didn't want anyone to think I was a bit touched.  Only you know that's true!

I am giddy because of the nice weather.  We've had more gloomy days in the past month than I'd care to remember.  I think there were 4 or 5 days the sun stayed out for more than half the day.   One day the sun came out for about 2 minutes and I rushed outside to take a walk.  As soon as I got outside it was gone.  After I got home it came out again for maybe an hour.  That's a given.  It's like Murphy's Law; as soon as I went in, the sun came out...  Well, at least I got outside that day.  

We had colder weather later than usual for a long time this year.  When the winds kicked up, it would knock the breath out of me.   On those days I enjoyed walking with the wind to my back, pushing me along.   I certainly did get a good work out walking into the wind.   I kept my inhaler with me just in case.   My lungs got a great workout and they have to be stronger after this month's wind walking.   What a great name; hello I'm "Walks with the Wind".   I know, don't go there; that can be taken many ways...   I'm also happy to report I've had no symptoms of asthma in so long, I can't remember the last time I did have them. 

I even washed the kitchen and bathroom floors this afternoon, with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  I'm not the most domestic person, so for me to be happy washing the floors is proof of how good a mood I'm in!  What would I be like living somewhere like Florida or California?  Probably pretty annoying in my giddiness huh? 

Irony

I'm not looking for an argument, or about to start any kind of debate here about nuclear energy or anything like that.  I am simply making an observation of the types of statements made by some people who are not directly affected by a disaster.   They need to be aware that words hurt, even when they're not intended to.   I heard the following statement on a television program, in a discussion about the earthquake and its aftermath in Japan.  Sometimes it's much better not to say what is in our head, before we just blurt it out.  We need to edit ourselves before we speak, rather than let people hear what we meant to say, but it came out completely wrong.  People hear it and think that we are totally insensitive.  This is what I heard;

"Nuclear power is a very viable energy source.  Nuclear power does not contribute to global warming."

Now after the worst earthquake in Japans history, and as the latest nuclear plant explosions continue, doesn't something like that statement just make you want to cringe and say, "What the *&#% is wrong with you?! "   It was okay up until the thing about global warming.   It wasn't exactly a good time to say that last part.  I don't think the people there are too worried about that kind of warming right now.  They are too overwhelmed right now.

Yeah right, nuclear power may not help contribute to global warming, but it could cause fallout  which can cause a global winter.  It also causes radiation sickness and poisoning when there's a radiation leak or the reactor EXPLODES!  But maybe I've seen too many apocalyptic movies.  I remember Chernobyl and Three Mile Island.  I know there was no global winter or I wouldn't even be writing this now, would I?  You all know what I mean. 

We all know that there are many positive things about nuclear energy and it lets us do tremendous things.  Yes, it is a cleaner energy.  That's what that person meant.  Too bad he didn't say that instead.   Of course he should have phrased it differently, or perhaps left the global warming part out.   Because millions of  people are hearing him.  It doesn't help the people who are worried about loved ones and friends or the people affected by the earthquake, to hear those kinds of things when there is a nuclear plant leaking radiation.  Talk about irony. 

Geez people, try to be a little more sensitive.   I mean, how would you feel if you couldn't find your aunt Bertha, because she was lost in a plane crash.  Then someone says to you right after the crash, "You know air travel is the safest mode of transportation."  

Pretty ironic at that moment isn't it?  Well I guess it just wasn't all that safe for Aunt Bertha though was it...?  See What I mean?  It's really just a statement that's a tad over the line, at that particular time, don't you think?  That's not the sort of thing you want to hear after Aunt Bertha bid farewell to the world.  Now is it?  

So the next time you hear something that seems rather a bit too insensitive in light of current affairs, think of me cringing and laugh instead.   It will keep you from wanting to smack them in the nose! 

Quote of the Week

When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate.

Ann Landers

 

Opening Your Heart Through Meditation

In light of the disaster in Japan; for the last couple of days I have been in a much quieter, meditative mood; even more so than usual.  I've spent some time reflecting on my own life and I've been living more in the moment.  I just went about the days without planning anything in particular.  In essence I accomplished more than I realized.

I've been a little busy putting the word out to people I know to help the people of Japan.  I've made my own donation, modest as it is.  I revisited some of my other charities and I was a little surprised at how many I've given some kind of support.  I like that about the newer me.  I am pleased with the altruism I see starting to come forward from me. 

I started thinking back more on the teachings of yoga when I was studying to learn about meditation and the yogic life.  Things kept coming to me in gentle waves of awareness, especially during meditation.  The act of meditating teaches one so much.  I admire Mother Theresa and Gandhi.  I understand their life's missions much better now.  Faith plays a tremendous part in what they did for others.

One of the most profound things I've gained from meditating and yoga practice, is that I am beginning to open my heart more to others and life in general.  So much more so than I used to, before I became a bit too self centered.

Opening your heart to everything around you, helps you begin to learn as much about yourself as you do about others.  I am a more sensitive person than I was, but not in the sense that you would think.  I am more sensitive to others needs and sorrows than I had been before.  But I'm not so sensitive that I can't function because I become emotionally overwhelmed.  I can see and even feel their pain.  But now I can still think rationally.  It's enriched my relationships.  It helps me to be better at my job.  I don't just get where they are coming from, I feel it now too.

That's the difference in being more mindful.  Oh, I still have my mini freak outs at times, but they are about me.   I mean after all, my hormones are a little crazy right now, just not as bad as they might have been.  It's not directed at others who need my help.  Only people trying to hurt me.  I am working on that too. When someone comes to me with a problem, I can go into solution mode often now without batting an eye.  I am less likely to react negatively and remain calm, unless of course someone is personally attacking me.  I am still working on that.  Life is a learning process.  You learn until you die.

I find that people who truly practice the yogic ideal of life are more willing to help others and be of service.  They want to make more contributions to the world, helping others in whatever way they can. There are quite a few celebrities and famous people who often give much to others.  I've noted that many of these same people talk about practicing meditation or yoga.   The more money they have, the more they give.  But it's the same for all people who practice, rich or poor.  They help in any way they can. 

Namaste

Support for the Japanese Earthquake Victims

We had our first perfectly beautiful day in several weeks yesterday.  But In light of the Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan yesterday, I just couldn't write about how great a day it was here, when such a huge disaster happened to the people of Japan.  It seemed very insensitive.  

I write a lot of light and fun pieces, but I also address world and other issues.  After all, we are all of the same community of man.  So instead, I am posting more ways to help and possibly find missing loved ones for my Japanese readers and those of you who may know someone there.  

Our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to them.  Please help in any way that you can.  I am providing more information to provide support. 


For the following cut and paste into your browser:

Redcross.org


SalvationArmy.org


Doctorswithoutborders.org


If you are on Facebook, login in to your page and one of my favorite sites for donating.  Please share with your Facebook friends.  This is what social networking is all about;     

causes.com 


Google has also set up Crisis Response with "a google.org project " AND
a way to find missing loved ones and friends;

GOOGLE  Person Finder: 2011 Japan Earthquake 
If you don't have Google as your search engine, type in Google and choose Google.com and then either;

Crisis Response a google.org project     or

Person Finder: 2011 Japan Earthquake 

 Namaste

Pray for the Japanese Earthquake Victims

In light of the devastating earthquake and Tsunami that hit Japan, please send prayers and messages of hope for all of the victims of the disaster.  Provide any support that you can. 

The earthquake registered 8.9, which is extremely destructive and is among the 5 worst in recorded history. 

UNICEF, The American Red Cross and My.Care.org are just some of the agencies that help earthquake victims, like the people of Hati.  Your prayers help tremendously. 


Affirmation:

May all of the victims of the earthquake and Tsunami receive the help and support they need at this most difficult of times.


Namaste

Gotta Love the Crazy Weather

We had some wild weather yesterday with lots of rain for hours and hours overnight and then it warmed up.  It was drizzly most of the day.  Unfortunately with the warm up and damp also comes the mold and mildew.  Today it was colder, and there was a little bit of snow on the ground.  Mother Nature Make up your mind please!  There's nothing like unpredictable weather.  Not really winter, not really Spring; ah yes, Spring is certainly just about here.

As much as I love Spring, I don't like the inevitable wetness it brings.  It makes my sinuses go a little crazy.  I had a little headache trying to come on and some swelling in my cheek to remind me that things were rapidly changing weather wise.  Luckily the headache was little and just on and off during the day. The swelling isn't so bad and just hurts a bit on and off.

I've been smart this year and I've been using my Neti pot every day for the last few weeks.  Then I try to sit quietly and do my breathing exercises.  The headache went away for a long time, every time I sat and practiced breathing for a few minutes.  I often do it unconsciously during the day now.  The rush of oxygen helps to get rid of headaches.  Then I do some head and neck stretches
to loosen up.

Part of the reason I had a headache was because I had a tense day the day before and then didn't get much sleep that night.  It was my own fault there.  I stayed up much later than usual and then got up early.  I didn't even get a full six hours of sleep.  I try to always get at least seven.  Forget about eight hours, who has the time?  So it really is more a lack of sleep, post tension headache.

So brace yourself, I'm going to talk about meditation again!  But it does help me  tremendously to reduce stress.  That's why I rarely have headaches of any kind anymore.  I used to get them every time the weather took a turn.  Thank goodness it's helped me.  Could you imagine with the crazy changes in the weather we've had for the last couple of years?  I wouid have had a headache every other day without it.  Or every other hour for that matter!  I don't meditate for stress itself, but it is a nice bonus in how quickly it helps me to relieve it.  I have raging hormones too, so it helps to temper that too.  Those are sometimes much harder to control! 

Remember, I used to have 4 or 5 sinus infections a year.  Past tense, used to.  Ha!  Eating a much healthier diet helps me tremendously.  Believe it or not processed foods contribute to some of these problems too.  And I'm not going to lie to you, I take allergy medication.  I have a couple of severe allergies, but I already told you about that.  It helps, but it doesn't prevent the headaches and infections.  Darn it.  Then my office mate got sick again recently.  It was the second or third time this year that she was really sick.  Guess what?  I didn't get sick any time.  Now are you listening to the healthy diet thing?!

I used to be laid flat feeling sick with the headaches, congestion and sinus infections.  Natural and organic foods can also help protect and prevent things like infections too.  There are foods you can eat to help.  I'll look them up for you and post later.  I've been back on track with healthier eating for the last couple of months, like I was before last November.  My energy level is up again.  Yeah!   I haven't had a cold or anything else since the last infection after Christmas, even with everyone around me getting sick.  Heck I rode my Exercycle yesterday for 45 minutes and I felt a lot better afterward.  No headache, no congestion, no nothing!  I love being healthier!  It's a really good feeling.

Just for Fun!

 

I just can't wait around for summer anymore Stanley!   The forecast says it's supposed to rain, then we can go for a dip!

Parking on Ice

Winter just doesn't seem to want to let go.  There's been frost on the ground every morning for the last several days.  Too bad they woke up the groundhog here a day early, so he just had to see his shadow.  They picked the one day in a 2 week time period when the sun actually did come out.  On the real Groundhog Day it was gloomy out.  Darn it, why can't people stick with tradition?  

At least there have been more birds singing lately.  I can't actually see any of them outside.  It's probably because they are all freezing cold and hiding, but you can hear them.  They have been chattering away at each other and squawking for days.  They're probably complaining to each other that they should have stayed down south where it's warmer.  You can just imagine the leader of the flock telling them to, "knock it off!"

 

The parking lot at work still has snow mounds, even with all of the melting that went on in the last few weeks.  The snow mounds are a lot smaller now and have become ice mounds.  The guy who "cleans" the parking lot left the biggest piles of snow I've ever seen anywhere.  They are a lot smaller now!  But they are still there taking up space.  I put "cleans" in quotations because, it never was exactly clean or plowed well.  

 

There are about 25 spaces in the lot, 6 of them are for disabled parking only and 10 of the other spaces were piled high with snow.  His boss said the lot was plowed when I told her that I had to drive around several times every day trying to find an open spot and then go somewhere else.  I went way the heck out of my way to park.  I could have used a shuttle bus just to get back. But she thought he did a good job.  Yeah, so where do you park?  I'm thinking, as I'm listening to her.   Oh yeah, I forgot.  They save you a space.   

 

I just don't get why the snow was left on the lot, when there is plenty of parkway area to pile it up.  He could have gone out again a couple of days later and cleaned it up more with the plow.  But he didn't do that, did he?  Hmmm.  There's just no use arguing when they just don't want to see your point.  I had to let it go.  

 

Even after the big thaw, you still can't park there because the ice hills are too high.  Or at least most people wouldn't park there.  A guy parked half on and half off a hugh pile of snow/ice.  The left side of his pickup was a couple of feet off the ground.  People who went to park next to him, changed their minds and parked somewhere else.   It looked as if the pickup could almost flip over sideways.  I certainly wouldn't park next to him.  

 

One woman got her car stuck on one ice mound and it took a bunch of people to get her off.  There were 6 guys and another lady trying to help when I pulled into the lot yesterday.  What in the world made her drive up onto an ice mound that high in the first place...,with a compact car, is beyond me.   

 

I shouldn't have laughed but, it was actually kind of funny.  I wish I had my camera with me so I could take pictures and post them.   The front of the car got stuck on this peak of ice as she backed up as far as her car would go.  The front end came up off the ground and the tires just spun in the air.  The people trying to push her off kept slipping and sliding on the ice mound.  It was almost like watching the Keystone Cops chasing a crook or a Three Stooges Routine.   I can hear Curly now, "Wooooooo!!" 

Continued Prayers and Well Wishes For Kerry

Kerry Kelemen as you may know from previous posts, is a young woman who has Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.  She is in the hospital and has recently recovered from pneumonia.  She is still undergoing chemotherapy.  She is making positive steps day by day.  She touched me and many others with her bravery, beautiful spirit and positive attitude.  She is a person with a warrior's fighting spirit.  She is one of those people I like to call Health Warriors, who take their disease by the horns and fight back with everything they've got. 

Please take a few moments to say a healing prayer for her in her fight and send her healing thoughts.   May Kerry continue to spread her wings and take flight into the healing light of the sun. 

If you would like to help in the fight against cancer and give your support to Kerry or others with cancer, consider visiting these websites: 

The Human Tribe Project;  humantribeproject.com

Show your support by purchasing a Tribe Tag, you can wear or give as a gift. Most of the cost goes directly to help the person of your choice. 

Or make a donation to the American Cancer Society at;  cancer.org or call 1-800-227-2345. 

Gifts to Susan G. Komen for the Cure may be made by:

Mail:	Susan G. Komen for the Cure Attn: Donor ServicesPO Box 650309 Dallas, TX 75265-0309
Telephone:	1.877.GO.KOMEN (1.877.465.6636)
Email:	donorinquiry@komen.org

   Namaste

Quote of the Week

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. 

                                                    Louisa May Alcott

Milestones and Meditation

I passed a few miles stones this past week.  I made it through the first anniversary of my father's death.  That explains a few of days of feeling down and blue.  I am normally very upbeat.  I was thinking about him all of the time and missing him.  Even when you try not to think about a loved one's death, it creeps into your mind.   But I was not struck down with anniversary grief.   I managed to go on as normal.

As the stress of the last year has finally slowed down, I've been doing much reflection the past few months and I am attempting to simplify my life more.  I have gained some weight back, but it is starting to come off, without having to change my habits.  I tend to gain weight in stressful times without eating poorly.  Now that I understand myself better, I can deal with it better without becoming too upset by it. 

My body responds to stress rather too quickly and obviously.  It's annoying, but I can recognize it now.  It tuns around a lot quicker now.  You may see me one month and the next I may look 10 pounds heavier or lighter.   As the stress goes away, my body relaxes again and the weight starts to come off.  Something that may have fit me last week, may not fit this week.  It's irritating,  but I am getting used to it.  It's my typical reaction or stress response. 

I bloat up if I have to speak to a large group, an appointment that I am anxious about, etc.  Even if I am not consciously feeling stressed or anxious my body shows it!  I work in a profession that is frequently fraught with being pulled in many directions and stressful situations.  I barely react to things that would have stressed me out years ago.   That is a hugh plus.   I draw on experience in how I may handle the current situation.  That is one of the reasons I was able to loose so much weight in the first place.

I can be pulled in multiple directions without being stressed out and choose which are the immediate priorities.   People who forget to do things until the last minute do not phase me as much a they used to.  I sometimes turn it around as a learning opportunity for them.   I caution them that it may not turn out as well as they would like.  In taking a calmer approach, I often find that things work out much better than one would expect.   And I sometimes surprise myself!   I can calm down my own feelings of anxiousness and stress with meditation, but the bloating is much  harder to diffuse.  When I get a little too stressed out I swell up and then it goes away naturally as my body relaxes with daily meditation.  I'm sort of like a tire; I inflate and I deflate! 

But I'm not simplifying because I'm sick, tired or anything like that.  I am simplifying because my needs and desires have diminished as my meditation practice has progressed.  It's helped me to be more aware of myself and the world.  This is a natural progression when you have been meditating for years.  I don't have a need to prove anything to anyone but myself.  I acknowledge what I have accomplished over my life, including the successes and the failures, little and big.  I don't worry much about the wouldofs, couldofs anymore.  If something doesn't work out as I would have liked, I just have to acknowledge that things work out as they are meant to.

I am working at becoming a better child, wife, friend, employee, person.  I am making progress in those directions.  I no longer crave high achievement and the limelight.  I recognize that I have already achived much in so many other ways.  I will continue to help others in the best way I know how.  I needed to realize that life isn't about what people think about you, as much as what you think of yourself.  That's most important.  I'll just do as I should and will create more positive connections and relationships.  The ones that I can't, well it will happen or it won't.  I will accept it and then move on...

I still have a lot of life left to go though!  But I am more at peace with myself and continue to flow with life's stream.  I am healthier than I was more than 10 years ago.  I am still one of the healthiest diabetics I have met.  I reversed the disease.  There are more of us out there than people realize.  About 20% of diabetics never even need medication.  I plan to stay in that group.  I have my little binges and tastes of things on the no no list and then I am back to being good. 

I have been practicing yoga and exercising for four years now this month, so they are a part of my life.  I passed 6,500 miles on my Exercycle this month.  Embracing diabetes, instead of denying it or fighting it has helped me to become and stay healthy.  I've told my family and friends that diabetes was a blessing because it saved my life.  If I hadn't been told that I had just gone into the diabetic range, would I have turned my life around so much?  I really doubt it. 

Signs of Spring!

I found those signs of Spring I was looking for today!  I didn't need a magnifying glass either!  That's the beauty of nature's own clock, it sets a timer and goes off at about the same time every year.   Even when it snows.  I can't believe that there were snow flakes falling few minutes ago.   They were melting but geez, enough already!   Not hating winter, not hating winter, not hating winter; Spring is Sprung(ing)!  It will be here in a couple of weeks!

A sign of a tulip here, a Hyacinth there and a daylily sprouting up under the eaves of the house.  Ah, Spring glorious Spring is sprung!  I can wait for the millions of little sprouts to start popping out of the soil and greeting the world.  There's nothing like the newness of Spring after a cold and very snowy winter.  

 

Technology, the Good, the Bad, the Pain in the Neck...

I am very happy and relieved to say that that my new Internet connection is up and running!  Hallelujah!  I did part of the installation myself.  I've gotten really good at installing computer and electronic equipment.  Goodness knows I've had at least four computers crash over the last 18 years.  This is number five.  I'm only on my second printer; thank you HP your printers are great; and my third monitor.  I had a big old bulky box monitor for years.  It took up a lot of space.  I bought a flat screen the minute the stores put them out.  The screen was bigger and I gained a ton of room on my desk.  

A couple of years ago a tornado touched down about a block away and my flat screen and of course the hard drive, (go figure yet another hard drive) crashed.  The surge protector was permanently shorted out, but it managed to at least save the portable television and DVD player/recorder that was also plugged in. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this hard drive, three years and counting.  I really like the flat screens, so I got a bigger one so I could see better.  Yeah right, who am I kidding?  I got it because I liked how much more I could see.  

I'm one of the go to people for computer, printer and copier problems at work too.  Except the printer is usually just a paper jam somewhere.  That only requires patience.  Hey wait, that's another thing meditation helps with.  No not meditating while fixing the printer!  The patience and focus you get from meditating people.   

If you work in a large office you might have one of those  great big, heavy duty copiers. When you open one of those monstrosities, you have to open everything looking for a microscopic piece of paper stuck inside!  The darn things won't work until that teeny, tiny piece of paper is removed.  The bigger, the picker they are; and you thought that only people were picky.  I've gotten good at finding those pieces of paper.  It's a challenge, like a difficult puzzle. 

So I really am SO very happy not to have go back to the library today.  As you know, I went to several, trying to find some piece and quiet as I worked and I didn't find much. I did find one library though, that I really liked.  I plan to go back there and sit in the comfy chairs and read.  That was the quietest library I visited in the past 2 weeks, and I went to several.  Mental note,, write a letter to each.  This one was beautiful, and has large glass windows with lots of light.  My kind of place, the more natural light the better.  Perfect for sitting and reading on a lazy weekend.  A plus is that it is open on Sundays too.  Okay, I rarely have a lazy weekend, but you know what I mean.

The computer areas in each of the libraries were always busy.  The one I went to yesterday had 30 computers.  When I got there, there were three other people.  Within 10 minutes of my arrival, all but two computers were in use.  But to do the amount of stuff I do on a computer most days, an hour is only a spit in the bucket of time, in a normal day for me.  Now if I could also manage to master that Blackberry I got as a present...

My Quotes

Life isn't perfect, like calm skies, a blue sea and a clear sandy beach.  Even that would get boring over time and you'd miss the imperfections after awhile.  We all just need a little messiness sometimes to mix it all up and make life more interesting, to better appreciate what we DO have.

Namaste

Camping?

Today a group of teenagers came in to the library to plan their senior prom.  They came right to the computers and started searching for places to go to after prom.  They weren't looking for hotels or motels to party in.   I really liked that their plan wasn't all about drinking or sex.  It was about having a great post prom experience. 

I didn't mind that they were talking to each other.  They tried to stay as quiet as 8 people could possibly be.  They didn't bother me or the other patrons and they were trying not to be rude.  I'm glad to see that parents are still teaching their children manners. 

The Librarian did make them break it up after awhile because all 8 of them were looking at one computer.   Apparently there's a rule I didn't see posted anywhere about how many people could be at one computer station.  I understand that and agree there should be some kind of policy, but that's the first time anyone in this library tried to make someone be quiet.  It seems pretty ironic to me.

As a regular reader, you know I've been coming here for days.   In fact I switched libraries twice because it was so noisy in here.  Talk about irony.    At first I thought it was because they were teenagers.  Then the same Librarian told someone else to turn off their phone.  Where the heck was she all of the other days I was here?!  Oh well of course go figure, this should be one of my last days working here, (I hope).  Someone is coming to install my new connection tomorrow.   Yeah and double yeah! 

The teenagers told me they were looking for interesting places to go and do things outdoors.  How refreshing, something simple and natural.  They want to go somewhere to go hiking, camping and paddle in canoes.  Boy does that take me back, we used to go camping all of the time.  

Back then, when we camped all of the time we were all younger and able bodied!   Not  so much now.  Yes, I was a camper.  But we weren't exactly your average campers.   One of our friends brought lobster camping... to cook! We teased her about forgetting to bring the table cloth and candelabra, but you know what?  It was really good.

Back then we were all about the food.   We spent lots of time around camp preparing and cleaning up after eating.  It often looked like we were having a feast.  We used to call ourselves "gourmet campers".  It was lots of fun and we did other stuff too, like fishing, tubing in the river and hiking.  But I remember the food best.   We really packed a lot food.  We ate better camping out, then we did every other day at home.  

That was all before I knew better about the carcinogens in smoked and grilled foods.  But that's mostly what we ate.   Heck, we even grilled whole turkeys sometimes!  Ah, those were the days.  I could eat anything and everything, still not gain weight and not have to worry about whether or not it might give me a heart attack.  But then you know the rest of that story!

Just Another Day...

It's good to see the sun come up even when there is frost on the ground.  Now that March is here, there is more than just a promise of Spring in the air don't you think?  I'm so glad the sun has decided to stay to stay with us for a couple of days.  I could never work nights or become a vampire because I would miss seeing the sun too much.   Okay, where the heck did that come from?!

I'm glad the Oscars are over.  As much as I like movies, trying to get out to see all 10 of the nominated films and other nominees was a bit much.  Not to mention the price of going to the movie theater.  Wow it costs a lot for a night out.  Now you know why I rent movies.  Eventually we will get cable.  But because we are always busy doing something, I'm not home as much as you might think.  I practically live outside in the summer.  So unless I put a television outside on my deck or plant one in the garden, I won't be watching it very much.  

I can't wait to start taking longer and longer walks as the weather warms up.  I've gotten to know my town so much better by walking through it.  This is my fourth year of walking around town and I'm still not tired of doing it.  Oh, of course I'm still walking now, but when it's cold I don't like to go too far.  Remember frozen thighs?  No, I don't mean chicken thighs!   

When it gets warmer, I can get out and commune with nature, not snow mounds!   Our groundhog saw it's shadow, so if you believe old wives tales or old wives, Spring is still a long way away.   He should have come out last week.  Spring would be here now.   

I will be outside this weekend looking for signs of Spring.  I might need to use a magnifying glass to find it!  There were no signs of tulips or any other Spring bulbs out there yesterday or today.  Usually there is something starting to come up by March 1st.  I bet they were smothered by all of that snow for so long, they probably think it's still January!   I'll have to go to the garden show just to get a plant fix. 

I had to go to the library again today to post and check my e-mails and some other stuff.  Man this is really getting old.   Everyone is sort of quiet today, so far.  Just a few more days.  (I hope.)   I think I can stick this out.   What did we do before computers?  I can barely remember!