Be Grateful

Be grateful for being alive

Be grateful for every day you wake up feeling fine

Be grateful for everyone in your life 

Life is not about things or making lots of money

Life is about living and being the person you are meant to be

Live life fully, don't shy away from the bad things

There are lesson to be learned

Be grateful for the lessons life gives you

Learn from those lessons and the people

And the circumstances that teach them

Be grateful for the difficult things in life

They are lessons that will teach you

Learn and grow from them

Give love and love will find you

Be kind and help those in need

Forgive yourself when you make mistakes,

Eat too much or procrastinate

Move on and start again

Recognize and understand that you have not failed
You just have to start again
And be grateful that you can

Unexpected Benefits of Walking

Today was another of those beautiful autumn days.  It was sunny, in the mid forties with just a bit of wind.  To some it may seem too cold, but for someone who likes to walk or run in cooler weather, it was a great day.  I've been walking to the grocery store once or twice a week for months.

I starting walking more often to the grocery store for the exercise of walking.  It gave me a predetermined destination and saved some time, instead of driving over later.  I soon realized that I was able to carry more and more groceries on the walk home.  In effect I had also added an additional type of weight bearing exercise, without planning to do so.  As the weight of the groceries I was able to carry went up, so did the benefit of weight lifting.  I walk and use my arms as if I am using dumbbells.  I shift the bags from one arm to the other to mimic heavier weights.  I can carry 30 pounds of groceries for more than half a mile without any problem.  If I need something very heavy, I will still drive, but I can't remember the last time I drove to a grocery store!

I've gotten stronger, increased my stamina, become fitter and improved my health.  My asthma has improved tremendously from walking, yoga, and Ujjayi Pranayama, a form of yogic breathing.  It basically means the breath of life.  Ujjayi is called the sounding breath, or ocean sounding breath.  It's a strong full slow inhale in through the nose and a slow full exhale release out through the nose or mouth.  I haven't had to use my inhaler for asthma symptoms, (except for right after my father died.) 

Walking has helped to reverse my type II diabetes.  I changed my eating habits along wiith exercise several times a week.  The walking and carrying of the "weights" in combination with a mostly non-prcessed foods eating habit, also made a huge difference in the stabilization of my blood sugars.  My fasting blood sugar is seldom over 100.

I walk to the post office to drop off mail or buy stamps.  I walk to my allergists office, because it's so close to home.  I partly chose to go to a new allergist because of the distance from my home.  I went past the office for years, before I found out he was an allergist.  The sign outside had worn away.  When they replaced it, I was excited to see they were an allergist office.   I kept it in back of my mind to check it out some day. 

I had been having problems getting into my former doctor's office for an appointment for the last two years.  When you have to get shots every few weeks and check ups four times a year, it gets troublesome to have problems getting appointments.  The staff changed constantly and always had to look up my file.  Because there is a constant turnover of staff, they tried to book me on the days I told them I had to work.  They are open six days a week for Pete's sake.  I had been a patient there more than 10 years.  If the staff hadn't kept turning over, they would have known who I was when I told them my name.  Even with patience and tolerance bellied by meditating and yogic breathing, I got tired of the negative attitude of one person in particular.

All of that helped me decide to take a risk.  I "lucked out" by getting a very thorough and considerate new doctor and very nice staff.  The person who was employed there the shortest amount of time, was there 14 years.  I figured that they would probably know who  was when I called.

Another benefit, that you may have thought of immediately; I am saving the environment from the toxic fumes of my car.  I'm not using as much gas.  So I reduced my carbon footprint and I save money.  That makes me feel really good and very happy.  I'm also saving wear on my car, so that will mean less repairs in the future.  Have you read my previous post?  I have a ten year old car.  That's when they start to need more work.  I plan to keep it a little longer, then buy a car that is more fuel efficent and cleaner for the environment.  The drive to my former doctor took 20 minutes in light traffic.  The walk takes me 5 minutes.   It's basically a no brainer that I am saving time too!

Things Balance Out In the End

Today was a good test in how much meditation has softened my emotionality.  The day started out crisp, bright and sunny.  The kind of day I like in late Autumn.  A little colder than usual, but still a nice day.  I took my car in for what I expected to be some routine work; winterizing, new points and spark plugs.  An hour and a half later, I left the shop with a loaner car.  I had  been given the prospect of either a $1300 bill or a $3100 bill, depending on the work I would let them do today.  The key for me was, "what I would let them do".  I chose the cheaper work, that would cost the same anywhere and I will shop around for the rest of the work.  I went there thinking I would be spending about $400.  That's a big difference from $1300 or $3100.

My rational mind took control when the service rep sat down with me.  He told me what everything would cost and how much needed to be done.  I felt a tiny surge of anger, took a deep breath and it was gone.  I started asking questions, a lot of questions.  My intuition in full force, I got a sense that this man was put in this particular job to sell to people.  He was new there, I have never seen him before.  I knew he was put there to sell people to get more work done.  I'm not as gullible as I used to be.  He was very friendly and used a "just your average Joe" approach.  I got a revelation in a flash.  I started asking him questions about himself.  He revealed quite a bit, without realizing it.  One of the things he told me, which he shouldn't have, was that he gets a commission.  My questions were answered, without him realizing it.  I decided to tell him what I would and would not have done.  

After I left and was driving home, I realized I wasn't angry.  I would normally have been.  I was disappointed, but my heart wasn't racing.  I wasn't cursing or swearing a blue streak while driving home.  I went over some things in my head.  My family had cut back on Christmas giving last year, when my father was in the hospital.  It was more important to spend time with him.  In the past I would have spent over $1000 between my family and my husband's family.  So, I had to factor in that I would spend at least $500 less again this year.  That would help meet this bill.

I had my annual eye exam last week and spent about $150 for the exam, frames and lenses with insurance. That was $30 less than last year and $150 dollars less than the previous year.  This year I insisted on only seeing the discontinued frames they usually say they can't get.  I searched and found four pairs of frames and found a pair for $10!  That's the least amount of money for a pair of frames that I've ever seen available at my Opthamologist.

A few weeks ago, I ordered a HDMI DVD recorder/player.  (We don't have cable.)  I like to rent movies and record a few TV shows.  The recorder I used with my small HD television, is fairly old.  It can't record any shows because it is not compatible with HD signals.  It was not performing so well.  It began making a loud buzzing noise with every DVD I played, no matter how often I cleaned it.  So I thought, "why not get a new one now?"  I used reward points from my credit card.  I had a lot of points.  I never used them except to donate to charities once in awhile.  There was never anything available on their website that I would like to use the points on.  So I used the rest of the points.  I got it for less than half the retail price.  I splurged because I could get it for the price of a cheap one, by using the points.  Just days after I got the new one and before I had time to set it up, the old one stopped working.  What luck!  I've never had a replacement for something like that, at the moment it broke down!  I set up the new one just in time to record my favorite shows. 

So in effect, things balance out.  You will see me write that a lot.  I see it more and more as I keep meditating and my karma begins to soften.  I will spend less at Christmas, because it really isn't about stuff.  Saving money on the glasses and the recorder helps a lot too.  So I have to think about that, in reflecting on the unexpected repair cost for the car.  The cost of the car repair is balanced by the savings on these other things.  Everything balances out in the end.  Through meditation, I am able to see this and better accept the setbacks in life.  You can't avoid the bad, as much as you may try. You just have to accept it and recognize the bad to see and get the good.

100 Books to Read

A friend recently sent me this list.  The instructions were to highlight the books you have read all the way through and mark the books you had partly read.   This is a list that she said is from the BBC's 100 books to read.  I've  marked the books I have read with an * and the books I've read parts of, but not all the way to the end with an #.

I was surprised by how many I have read.  See how many you have read.  Use the list just for fun, to start reading some literary greats, to round out your own reading list or start a book collection.  So I want to know, have you read any of these books?  Book number one is my favorite,  the rest are in the order sent.

Book List

 

 *1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
*3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
*To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6 The Bible
*7 Wuthering Heights
*8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
*10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
*11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
*12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
*13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
*14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
*15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
#16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
*18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
*20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
*21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
*22 The Great Gatsby  F Scott Fitzgerald
*23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
*24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
*25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
*26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
*27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
*28 Grapes of Wrath –  John Steinbeck
*29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
*31 Anna Karenina –Leo Tolstoy
*32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
*34 Emma – Jane Austen
*35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Berniere
*39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Willaim Golden
*40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
*41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabrial Garcia Marquez
#44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
#45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
*47 Far from the Madding Crowd _ Thomas Hardy
#48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
*49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
#50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
*51 Life of Pi - Yann Martell
*52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
*54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
*55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
*57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
*58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel García Márquez
*61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
#65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On the Road - Jack Kerouac
*67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
#68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
*70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
*71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
*72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
#73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson
74 Notes from a Small Island - Bill Bryson
*75 Ulysses - James Joyce
#76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
*79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
*81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - Charles Mitchell
*83 The Colour Purple - Alice Walker
*84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
*85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
#87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
#89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
#94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
*97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
*98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie & the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
#100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

A Day of Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the States.  It is usually thought of as a day of bounty, love and time with others.  I was given a cake yesterday that was a lovely surprise.  Then our company gave out pies.  I passed the pie on to someone who would enjoy it more than I.    We used to get a turkey every year and I would pass it on in a fake "raffle"  to one of the neediest patients.  I made sure it was a different patient each year.  We fixed the raffle so that someone who couldn't afford to buy a turkey would "win".  I never told them it was from me.  I didn't want them to be grateful to me, because the giving wasn't about me.  It was about giving to someone deserving.  We just want them to feel good. 

This year I am disappointed that this is the second year in a row that none of the staff has contributed to the Holiday food pantry.  Does it speak more about the economy or about the state of their attitudes?  Last year perhaps it was the economy.  This year, I'm not as certain.  Even in trying times there is always someone worse off than ourselves.

Over the year I collect hats, socks, gloves, hand lotions and other things to give as gifts for prizes and Christmas raffles.  I look for special sales, nice things at the dollar stores and casts off from friends who get gifts they can't use.  There are many people that have no family and very little money to buy things.  Some of these small gestures may be just the thing someone in need can use.  Earlier this year I received a winter jacket by mistake in an order.  It was so inexpensive, I decided to keep it.  I paid for it so I could give to someone that I knew could really use it.  It still had the tags on it when I gave it to her.  I told her it was an anonymous donation.  She wore it home that day. 

A small act of kindness, without the expectation of thanks is truly an act of selfless giving.  The giving is then not about you, but simply the act of giving.  Try to practice a little selfless giving.  You may feel so good about it, you will want to do it all of the time. 

On a more personal note, tomorrow is the first Thanksgiving without my father.  I am wishing you blessings on this day made for family.  Reach out to your loved ones.  You may not have that chance for long. 

Namaste

Persistence and Perseverance

Persistence and perseverance combined with hard work can bring great reward.  But life is not just about hard work.  Don't forget to take time to play and enjoy the fruits of life.  A life lived fully is a life well lived.

This is sometimes a hard lesson for some and a lesson that still needs to be learned by others.  A balance in life in all tings is what makes life more interesting.  Our garden of thoughts and dreams is also our harvest of reality.

Refuse or Reuse and Gardening Delights

Often when I go walking I see lots of things that people leave to be picked up by the garbage collectors.  Sometimes, people also leave yard debris strewn about as well.  The other day I passed a house with evergreen clippings all over the sidewalk.  I assumed that whomever had cut it was coming back to pick it up.   Today,  two days later I passed that house again.  The clippings were still on the ground. 

I decided to pick the clippings up and bring them home for my compost.  As I bent down to pick the clippings up, I could see that they were still fresh and they smelled wonderful. They were more than clippings.  There were many that were one to two feet long.  All of them had tiny blue berries all over them.  To a gardener, who fancies herself somewhat of a designer, this was a cornucopia of a find!  I picked up every bit strewn around.  I was almost giddy with delight.  Happy with my prize, I walked home with an armload of greenery. 

When I got home I laid them out on my porch steps.  This was kismet.  I had just removed the summer arrangement from the large planter in front of my home and planted tulip bulbs in it last week. It was pretty bare except for a small scarecrow I had left in the middle.  

Normally, I put evergreen boughs that I buy at a local nursery in the planter for the winter.  Otherwise the front of the house is mostly bare and slightly depressing.  I usually go to the nursery after Thanksgiving.  Then I clip some bright red branches from my Red Twig Dogwoods and put them in the arrangement I've created.   I don't have the kind of evergreens that grow the lovely arching branches I like to put in the planter.  I am growing one that is still farily small.

The arrangements last in our colder weather until March or April.  So I was thrilled that I had found so much to use, for free.  I also think I did the people a favor by cleaning up the mess left by someone from their family.  They often leave weeds in piles and grass clippings all over the sidewalk and driveway.   So, I wasn't concerned that someone would care that I picked it up.  After all it was cut two days ago and I was probably doing them a favor. 

This is the earliest I've put evergreens in the planter.  I watered them, to perk them up and so they will stay fresh.  It's still not that cold out.  It was in the upper 50's today.  One year, one of the Dogwood branches I cut and put in the planter even put out roots!  I have a bit of a green thumb.  I'd like to take credit for the idea of the cuttings in the planter over the winter, but I saw it on "The Victory Garden" years ago.  

I always seem to find things tossed out that are prefect for the garden.   Last week I started out on my walk and spied several pots from a distance at a house that was for sale.  I ran/walked quickly over.  I stopped and looked, and almost walked away because they all seemed to be broken.  But knowing that sometimes there are little gems in the piles of rubble, I bent down to look harder.  On closer inspection, I saw two perfect Terracotta pots and saucers; a bonus!  They were a little heavy to carry, but I practically ran back home with them.  I left them on my porch and continued back on my walk, almost bouncing with excitement from my found treasure. 

Earlier this summer, I snagged a plaster and fiberglass planter that was in excellent condition.  It was sitting out at the curb with the garbage to be picked up.  It was a tad dirty and had been painted an ugly dull shade of gray.  It also needed a better drainage hole.  I bet myself, checkiing the size of teh hole that the people threw it away because it didn't drain well.  

I picked it up and walked back the four and a half long blocks I had come.  It was a little heavy.   Especially after two of those incredibly long blocks.  The blocks in that particular area are double the normal length.  So two blocks are like four regular city blocks.  The pot seemed to get heavier the further I had to walk back to my car!  I like to walk in different sections of town.  I drove over and parked at the local park.  My arm got very tired from carrying it, and felt like it would fall off!   But I soon recovered quickly once I got back to my car.and looked over my find.  It had a lot of possiblity.

Now you are probably thinking, why didn't you just go get the car and drive back?  Yes , that would make sense.  I would have, but one of the junkmen who frequently troll the neighborhood for salvageable things, was only a few houses behind me.  He surely would have snagged it up before I got back.  I just couldn't risk loosing it!  I felt a little like Gollum from "Lord of the Rings".  I had to protect "my precious" find!

When I got home, I went right to work. Thirty seconds with a sharp wrench and I put a better drainage hole in.  Then I decided to repaint it.  The original color had been white.  I could see where a little of the paint had pealed off.  It was such a great find.   Planters of that type and size sell for fifty to sixty or more dollars!  I searched our garage for paint.  My husband always has things llike cans of spray paint.  Don't ask me why, I never see him use them! 

I've found other garden treasures over the last couple of years on my walks.  They are almost always sitting out with the trash.  The saying, "One man's trash, is another man's treasure" really applies in my case.

Affirmation

Pay attention to the little things.  Little things are the pieces that make up the whole of life. 

Keeping Up On Cleaning, Recyling and Reusing

I'm still in cleaning and simplifying mode.  Once one starts, it seems to carry over into other parts of one's life.  I went through part of a second room and moved on to third.  The second room, didn't need as much, as it is not used quite as much everyday.  I meditate in a corner of the room.  My meditation mat and cushion sit on the floor, partly out of sight.  So that room needs to be uncluttered.  Your meditation space should be tranquil.

The third room is the bedroom.  It certainly needed a good straightening up and reorganizing. Some of the things in the closet were brought over when we moved here.  Most of them never came out of the boxes.  I guess I got too busy setting up house to think about them and then really forgot about them!  Since I had finished the office, I had things that needed to be put away somewhere else.  I didn't want to overcrowd those closets.  That would be going back to square one, now wouldn't it?  They used to be messy closets with things stuffed in just to get them off the floor.  The closets are full, but are more organized now, and I would like to keep them that way!

I recycled and repurposed some things.  Boy does that feel good, and it saves money.  By reusing, recycling, or donating, they don't go to waste.  I had purchased a new area rug for the dinning room a few months ago to replace an worn old one.  Unfortunately, it didn't look quite right there.  The pattern didn't fit with my decorating scheme and it was too dark.  Because the dinning room is actually part of the kitchen, the table is used for every meal.  It showed every little grain of salt spilled on the floor.  I really don't have time to vacuum twice a day.  I thought it might look better in my office and would cover some old stains that I could never get out.

It looks so much better there and seems to fit in better too.  It gives the office a whole new look!  It is fresher looking and the stains are completely covered up.  The parts of the carpet that still look good show up well.  It seems like a new room.  The area rug gives the room character.  That 's a good feat, since everything else was already in there.  I found a nice large basket on sale for half off and I use it for magazines and things I want to read.  I prefer that to a stack of magazines sitting on the desk.  Now I have more room there too.  Except for meals and the lack of a bed, I could live in this room! 

As for the dinning room, I found an area rug that looks much better there.  A bonus was that it was very inexpensive.  It is made of recycled materials and was about 60 percent less than the price of the one I moved into the office.  I got it with no shipping costs either.  I found it shopping online.  I have become very adept in finding great bargains.  So I was happy to be able  to switch rugs.  The good thing was the other rug had been on sale too.  I've learned to wait for sales or do some research.  I waited a year to replace the original area rug.  I wanted recycled materials, at a low cost, but a quality product.  I have no problem living with old, worn stuff, if I know I can get a good price down the road.   That rug will go in the family room where we had water seepage this spring.  We had to remove the carpet and padding in a large section.  It would be a waste of money to put down a whole new carpet, when that rug can sit under the couch. 

I then went through the books in the other rooms and added more to my donation stacks.  I am so pleased that I haven't had any urges to put some of the books back.   Whenever I tried to clean out books before, I would find myself putting some back.  I am getting so much better at letting things go.  I did repurose a few books as a decorative element on my nightstand to raise a lamp higher.  They look nicer than using a box.  I got function and style that way. The stand was too low for reading in bed.  The books have attractive covers and brought the lamp to a better height, so they suited a purpose and look nice on the nightstand. 

Sometimes when I take a walk, I bring a few books with me to the library to donate.  I can also walk to the store where they have a donation bin.  Your community might have them too.   There are book donation bins at some the the strip malls in our area.  I drop some of the books there too.  I don't want to give all of the books to the same places.  Spreading them around to a variety of places benefits more charities and people.  I have so many books that I've collected over the years, I have quite a lot to give away.   I will not reread most of them, so they may be useful to others.  It's better to pass them on, than to keep them for no purpose, when someone else may enjoy them.  I do like to see books on my shelves, but they are also the books I will pick up and look at again often. 
I really went through boxes and drawers and found more clothing to donate.  There were also some shoes, I haven't worn for a long time.  Since I no longer wear heels, I gave several pairs away.  I cut a couple of pairs of pants down into shorts and hemmed them.  They had ugly baggy knees from wear, but will be great shorts for working in the the yard.  I had a few plastic containers and some shoe boxes I saved to use as drawer dividers for underwear and socks and for storing markers and pens.  After going through the closet, I had several large cardboard boxes that I cleaned out.  I gave them to a friend who is moving. 

I watched the program "Hoarders" one time.  I am very happy to say, I am definitely not a hoarder.  In the past, when I cleaned out drawers and closets, I always had trouble letting go of everything, or really much of anything.  I would give away a few things.  I am pleased to say that is no longer true.  I gave away about eight plastic garbage bags of clothing, shoes and miscellaneous stuff after cleaning out two of those rooms.  I threw away and shredded several bags of paper and other stuff.  I am not keeping coupons and other things with a short expiration date.  If I don't need to purchase it now, out it goes.  It is very empowering to be able to let things go.  It is always good to give to charity and  I feel very good about it.

Green and White Beauty

Paying It Forward

Quite some time ago, I decided to make a point of thanking people who gave exceptional customer service.  Later on, I also included those individuals who are very friendly and helpful.  They are the kind of people that may not give exceptional service, but are exceptional in their attitudes. 

You know those people, the ones who help you with mundane services, but have an exceptionally great attitude.  They can make your day.  For example, I recently had a rough week at work.  I was not in the best of moods, yet if someone said or did something nice for me it brightened my day.  It didn't take much to lift my spirits, because I am more aware that the simplest things matter.  Good relationships help quite a bit and a kind word goes a long way. 

I had to call about a new credit card that was supposed to be sent to me, to replace a lost one.  It didn't arrive as promised.  The person I spoke with after several other calls, looked everything up and said, "I see your problem. The order was placed at the cut off of sending it out next day priority."

I could have easily excepted that explanation, but she went on to say, " I am so sorry.  They should have told you that when you called."  She meant what she said.  I could hear and feel her sincerity.  She put me on hold, and went to check that the shipment was made.  I was on hold about two minutes, yet she apologized profusely for making me wait so long.  That's an exceptionally nice person.  I thanked her profusely for caring and being so nice.  I went on to add that I knew these calls were recorded.  I wanted it noted how genuinely nice she was.  I told her it saved that account from being closed.  You see, she was fourth person I had talked with.  I told her, " it looks like the fourth time is the charm.  You are a great representative of this company."   I could almost hear her blush. 

So every time I run across someone this nice and helpful, I tell them so.  I may write a note, send an email or ask for their supervisor.  That is the way to ensure that they get, and feel credit for a job well done.  Or at the very least they can continue on with the day, with a smile on their face.

I try to find something to connect with the person.  I may complement them on something or gently joke with them.  A young man I spoke to about my phone service was so polite, I told him he had beautiful manners.  He told me that was his parents doing.  I said, "they raised you well."

You get the point.  Say it if you mean it.  It works very well when you really mean it.  Why not try to make their day better?  In doing so, you also make your day better as well!  Why not have a positive interaction, instead of a negative one?

To know yourself, is to understand yourself.  To understand yourself is to love yourself. 

It is not about ego.  It is about acceptance of the self.

Crazy Neighbor Update

I blogged a bit ago about crazy neighbors.  I know that the yogic philosophy is to love everyone and be accepting of others.  Well, I am and can be very accepting.  I have a harder time with the loving everyone part.  There are many people I like.  There are even quite a few I can say I love.  There are none I can say I hate.  That is really too strong an emotion, that I don't feel.  But there are a couple of people I can say I'm not overly fond.   I really try to be more forgiving, accepting and understanding.  Sometimes it happens very easily.   Other times, well it takes a bit of work. 

If I seem to have drifted off topic, I haven't.  I just want to make it clear that I know what I should do and feel. I have to be truthful with you, my readers.  When I say that I am grateful that that my neighbor finally sold his house, I mean it.  Its  better for every ones sake. 

He had his house on the market for a long time.  I understand from the few people who have seen it  inside, that it needs a lot of work.  I had a vision of a hermit, living with things piled everywhere and dirt on the floors.  It turns out, according to the person who bought it, I wasn't far off. 

A have a new sense of relief, understanding and a feeling of lightness.  No longer will I have to see and try to ignore the odd behavior and feeling of being watched.  I started to to feel friendlier toward him, until one morning on a recent walk. 

I walked to the local grocery store, as I often do.  As I started back, I saw a figure in the distance.  As the figure got closer, I thought I recognized the jacket that the person was wearing.  As I crossed in the opposite direction, I realized it was the "crazy" neighbor.  As I walked past, I was about to call out hello.  It was the right thing to do.  He was walking past on the opposite side of the street, and I didn't want to be rude.

He cursed something about me walking his way,  I couldn't quite make out.  I was shocked and taken aback.  I was at a loss for words.  Which doesn't happen to me often!  I ignored it as best I could, but it disconcerted me.  I walk there all of the time.  Whenever he engaged me in conversation, I was always polite to him.   This was unexpected.  I shook it off and kept walking. After all, he is an odd man.

I quickly forgot about the neighbor.  I took the long way home because it was such a nice day.  I didn't have anything perishable or too heavy to carry home.  I walked through the small park a couple of blocks north of my home.  I like to take the path there and turn around.  It winds around and goes back the way you started.  As I got closer to my block, there he was, walking from the direction where I had just come.  He looked angry, made some odd gestures and I could hear him cursing and swearing.  He seemed to be angry at me.  He kept staring at me, saying something until he headed back toward our block.

Well now I was flabbergasted by his behavior.  I stayed on the opposite side of the street.  I walked very slowly, letting him go first across the street, before I crossed at the light.  I then realized that he had no packages.  I saw him go to the store when I passed him earlier.   It struck me at that moment that he may have followed me.   Now I was a little more than uncomfortable.

His behavior had been getting stranger for years.  Well now I just wanted to avoid him until he moved.  I know there are people who will say that it was all in my head.  There are others who may say that I should have called the police.  I didn't want to make things worse.  The man would be moving soon.  Why start something, when he would soon be gone?  There were people about and cars driving by, so it wasn't like I was alone.  I said to myself, "he should be moving soon, just wait him out."

So instead, I changed my habit of walking in the morning to different times of the day.  I also began to pull my shear curtains over the windows, instead of tying them back.  I could do with less sunlight for a little while.  I thought it's a small price to pay to avoid the stares.  I know he can see my outline as I sit in my office, because the open door lets in the light from the hallway.  I have seen him stand trying to look in on many occasions.  Other than the staring, he was also argumentative, screamed at people and used abusive language.  I had to remember to "turn the other cheek" quite a bit.  So, I felt it was better to keep a low profile for awhile.

Please don't judge me too harshly because of what I have written about this person.  I have tried to like him and be friendly for years.  I've felt empathy for his situation.  Sometimes it is much easier to avoid negative situations and people.  They eventually work themselves out.  I even think that some of his behavior was an attempt to push people away when he was having an off day.  He seemed to have a lot of off days though. The problem was he didn't seem to have an edit button on his behavior.  Unfortunately for him, he didn't realize that all of the neighbors started to avoid him, even when he was feeling friendly.  A little too much crazy, keeps the neighbors away.

He moved out the other day.  I don't expect to run into him again.  At least I hope so.  I'm not sure how I would react.  Would I turn and run in the other direction?!  To tell the truth, I am very relieved that he's gone.  I wish the new owner a very happy home.  The house needs some love.   My Shears are open again.

We love silly socks!

Affirmation

Find pleasure in the simplest things, life is made of simple things.

Using Images of Water in a Cleansing Meditation

Use one or all of these soothing and calming images of water in various forms in a cleansing meditation.  Concentrate on one, two, or more of the images.  Focus just on the picture(s) you choose.  Try not to move from image to image, but gaze  continuously at one or more. 

Clear your mind of all other thoughts and imagine the water washing over you from head to toe.  Water running down your body, through your arms and legs and pouring out from your fingers and toes.  Feel it washing away your troubles, illness and negative thoughts.  Water is an excellent cleansing and healing property to use in meditation.          Namaste

Being Fully Present to Help a Loved One Who is Dying

When someone you love is ill and may be dying, it is the most difficult of times.  It is difficult for you because of your impending loss.  But it is also difficult for them because of the emotions coming from those they love and their own fears of death. 

When someone has accepted or knows of their own impending death, they try and come to terms with it.  We must learn to respect their wishes and help them to prepare for death.  Being fully present in the moment gives both of you a special gift.  Meditation will help you to keep your own emotions in check.  When your emotions are greatly reduced, you will be better able to spend more quality time with the person who is dying. 

Meditation will not remove all of your emotions, it will calm the most irrational and reactive of emotions.  You simply cannot start meditating and a week later find yourself calmer.  It takes a matter of time to see these changes.  Learn to meditate daily, even if it is for five minutes.  After a couple of months of daily meditation you will start to see changes within.  After six months of daily meditation, you will not only feel the changes, you will begin to see them. 

With continued years of meditating you will be less emotional and reactive.  You will have greater clarity of thought and the ability to remain calmer in a crisis.  Your personality will be softened.  The things that irritated you in the past will be easier to ignore.   You will have cultivated serenity.   These are the things that will help you and your loved one through the time of their death.

You may ask, how do you know that to be so?  If you have read my early posts, you may recall that I said I lost my father.  It happened early this year.  His death was due to an accidental fall.  My father did not die after the fall.  The doctors were able to save him, but he would never be the same.  He had many infections and would recover, only to get another.  I started to realize by paying close attention and asking lots of questions that he would never really recover.   I never got concrete answers about his prognosis. 

I began to pay closer attention and pick up subtle signs that he was slowly getting worse in different ways.  This is what meditation helped me to better see and better accept.   It gave us the gift of more time before he would pass on.  Time to strengthen our bond and spend quality time together.   I have that as a very happy memory. 

He spent many months in one hospital or another and a brief time in a nursing home before we came to the decision it was time for hospice.  At the last hospital, a strong feeling came over me that this was the last place he should be.  He had been diverted from another hospital to which he was often sent.  Although I liked the doctors at the other hospital, this place was different. 

As I walked through the halls and felt the friendliness of the staff, there was aalso such a sense of calmness there.  The feeling that this was the right place came over me so strongly, I had to stop and process it.  I meditated on it after I went home that night.  After meditation, I knew that this was the place he was meant to pass on, in peace and comfort.

We met with his doctor there who was completely honest with us.  I told him we needed to hear the real truth about my father's condition and chances.  It was refreshingly unexpected.  The doctor told us he did not want to sugarcoat it, he understood how much both my father and my family had been through.  He could see we needed the real answers.  We had been told for so long he was getting better and would be able to go home.   That was never going to happen.  I had known this inside me for a couple of months.  We arraigned for hospice services and I took a moment to meditate on the decision. 

I became tearful at first when I walked into the hospice room, but did some cleansing breaths and calmed and centered myself.   I have never been so strong.  I heard my teacher say in my mind, "who are you crying for?"  I knew I started to cry for me, for my loss.  I was with my father as he died.  The rest of my family were still on their way.  I said a meditative prayer to help him with pass on.  I held his hand to comfort him.  As much as I wanted him to live so I could still be with him, I also was rational enough to remind myself that it was his choice and he wanted to go on and I must support his wish. 

He did not linger very long.  He went very quickly. I knew he had passed on as it  happened.  He let out one long last breath and was gone, onto another realm.  The staff at the hospital was shocked that it happened so quickly.  He died within a few hours of being taken off his ventilator, not the days or weeks the doctor and the hospice staff had predicted.  It was so much better for him, his suffering and all of the illnesses were finally over.   He did not die in the chaos, of a noisy ER, as he could have the night he fell.  He died with quiet dignity and calmness surrounding him, holding the hand of someone who loved him.

He would want me to know that he is at peace.

If You Would Like To Meditate On A Soothing Visual. Here is One to Use.

Affrimation

 Appreciate every moment that you are given. 

The Elections Are Over - Time to Start Thinking About the Next One!

People complain about the 2 major parties in the United States, but don't vote.  If someone doesn't vote, they really shouldn't complain because they've done nothing to be part of the solution.  They are simply helping to perpetuate the very problems of which they complain.  Their opinion doesn't matter because they didn't express it properly, at the polls, in the voting booth. (Nowadays at an electronic voting machine.) 

Voting is not a God given right.  The right to vote had been hard fought by many in the past.  We must honor their fight by excerising our choices.  You may not agree with the outcome of the races, but at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you tried to make a difference. 

If your candidates do win, well then that's good.  Just don't gloat or make a fool out of yourself or others.  Be gracious, because as history shows, there are patterns that are repeated and no one party stays in power forever.  In the end we are all just people with similar goals and aspirations.  We just look a little different from each other; short, tall, thin, black, white, brown, yellow, male or female. 

I'm sure you get my point.  We all have hopes and dreams.  They many not be the same for all, but everyone has them.  If you talk to someone from another party about things other than politics, you may actually find that you have much in common.  In reality, politicians are more like each other than they are not. Their views may be different, but they seem to go about the business of politicking in much the same way!  It is sadly pathic that they always seem to resort to mud slinging and name calling.  It kind of reminds me of kids at school.  "If you say something bad about me, then I'm going to say something bad about you."

So if you voted and your candiate didn't win, well at least NOW you have sometihing to talk about, how you want to change things with the next election!