I blogged a bit ago about crazy neighbors. I know that the yogic philosophy is to love everyone and be accepting of others. Well, I am and can be very accepting. I have a harder time with the loving everyone part. There are many people I like. There are even quite a few I can say I love. There are none I can say I hate. That is really too strong an emotion, that I don't feel. But there are a couple of people I can say I'm not overly fond. I really try to be more forgiving, accepting and understanding. Sometimes it happens very easily. Other times, well it takes a bit of work.
If I seem to have drifted off topic, I haven't. I just want to make it clear that I know what I should do and feel. I have to be truthful with you, my readers. When I say that I am grateful that that my neighbor finally sold his house, I mean it. Its better for every ones sake.
He had his house on the market for a long time. I understand from the few people who have seen it inside, that it needs a lot of work. I had a vision of a hermit, living with things piled everywhere and dirt on the floors. It turns out, according to the person who bought it, I wasn't far off.
A have a new sense of relief, understanding and a feeling of lightness. No longer will I have to see and try to ignore the odd behavior and feeling of being watched. I started to to feel friendlier toward him, until one morning on a recent walk.
I walked to the local grocery store, as I often do. As I started back, I saw a figure in the distance. As the figure got closer, I thought I recognized the jacket that the person was wearing. As I crossed in the opposite direction, I realized it was the "crazy" neighbor. As I walked past, I was about to call out hello. It was the right thing to do. He was walking past on the opposite side of the street, and I didn't want to be rude.
He cursed something about me walking his way, I couldn't quite make out. I was shocked and taken aback. I was at a loss for words. Which doesn't happen to me often! I ignored it as best I could, but it disconcerted me. I walk there all of the time. Whenever he engaged me in conversation, I was always polite to him. This was unexpected. I shook it off and kept walking. After all, he is an odd man.
I quickly forgot about the neighbor. I took the long way home because it was such a nice day. I didn't have anything perishable or too heavy to carry home. I walked through the small park a couple of blocks north of my home. I like to take the path there and turn around. It winds around and goes back the way you started. As I got closer to my block, there he was, walking from the direction where I had just come. He looked angry, made some odd gestures and I could hear him cursing and swearing. He seemed to be angry at me. He kept staring at me, saying something until he headed back toward our block.
Well now I was flabbergasted by his behavior. I stayed on the opposite side of the street. I walked very slowly, letting him go first across the street, before I crossed at the light. I then realized that he had no packages. I saw him go to the store when I passed him earlier. It struck me at that moment that he may have followed me. Now I was a little more than uncomfortable.
His behavior had been getting stranger for years. Well now I just wanted to avoid him until he moved. I know there are people who will say that it was all in my head. There are others who may say that I should have called the police. I didn't want to make things worse. The man would be moving soon. Why start something, when he would soon be gone? There were people about and cars driving by, so it wasn't like I was alone. I said to myself, "he should be moving soon, just wait him out."
So instead, I changed my habit of walking in the morning to different times of the day. I also began to pull my shear curtains over the windows, instead of tying them back. I could do with less sunlight for a little while. I thought it's a small price to pay to avoid the stares. I know he can see my outline as I sit in my office, because the open door lets in the light from the hallway. I have seen him stand trying to look in on many occasions. Other than the staring, he was also argumentative, screamed at people and used abusive language. I had to remember to "turn the other cheek" quite a bit. So, I felt it was better to keep a low profile for awhile.
Please don't judge me too harshly because of what I have written about this person. I have tried to like him and be friendly for years. I've felt empathy for his situation. Sometimes it is much easier to avoid negative situations and people. They eventually work themselves out. I even think that some of his behavior was an attempt to push people away when he was having an off day. He seemed to have a lot of off days though. The problem was he didn't seem to have an edit button on his behavior. Unfortunately for him, he didn't realize that all of the neighbors started to avoid him, even when he was feeling friendly. A little too much crazy, keeps the neighbors away.
He moved out the other day. I don't expect to run into him again. At least I hope so. I'm not sure how I would react. Would I turn and run in the other direction?! To tell the truth, I am very relieved that he's gone. I wish the new owner a very happy home. The house needs some love. My Shears are open again.
Smokey Mountain Memories
A Little Slice of Heaven
